How should I start off this depressing entry? These days I should be stressing over assignments and assessments, which are all happening in the next two weeks. However, here I am, sitting in front of the computer worrying about something else. Not to sound shallow, but I'm worrying about my appearance. Your thinking what? Please allow me to explain.

Just three years ago, I ain't even going to lie but I was quite on the ugly side. I was the typical little girl you see on the street and no one would give a second look. (Not that I'm saying right now I'm down right gorgeous but more on that later...) I had the flat nose which I don't see the problem with but apparently by usual standards, a high bridge small nose is considered as attractive by majority of the people out there. Then there was the full on low fringe that covered half of my eyes and it certainly did not help the round glasses.

I was the left over girl at the Year Six farewell dance, I was known as the tom boy. My unforgiving personality also didn't do me any good. How I survived primary is beyond me but let's not go back to the tragic past but during those times, I was happy. I enjoyed school, I had my circle of friends and although not part of the so called popular crowd, I liked being normal. I blended in well.

As I went on to high school, transformations (friends' words, not mine. I would call it series of unfortunate events) followed. I started off like my usual self except my fringe was shorter and you can finally see my eyes and my glasses were a different style but still the usual type of girl. Nothing that stood out. When I came back for the second year, I'll admit it, I changed. I cut my hair and no longer have a fringe, they grew longer and went past my shoulder. They were no longer black and I dyed them to a color in between red and orange. Instead of glasses I got contact lenses. My features went sharper and my nose's no longer the same level as my face, they went higher and smaller. The double eyelids were more obvious thanks to my new hair.

Then there was something exciting and new I discovered. Make up. I liked the feeling of putting something onto my face thinking it would make me more attractive. (Even though according to my friends, there's hardly any difference) Soon I learnt that the more foundation, concealer or powder I pile onto my face, the more confident I feel. The more eyeliner I apply, the prettier I feel. It was a tragic look I can tell you now. With that, the second year of high school was all make up. They were the highlight of the year.

That aside though, even without make up, I look different compared to primary. Thing is, people don't realize that I'm not the only one going through this series of unfortunate events, majority of teens do. Slowly, as I shared my photos with my close friends (or not so close ones from primary) on social net working sites, rumours started. People (mainly from those who havenever seen me after primary, or specificity after the first year of high school) claiming I had plastic surgery done on my nose and that I photo-shop my face to make it look like the way I look now. Now I am human, and I do have feelings. When I found out that's what everyone outside of school know me as, I was extremely disappointed.

First of all, let's explain the whole photo-shop issue because it's where most people start to get mistaken. My dad is a photographer, a professional one and with that, he does edit his photos sometimes on this editing program, which is Photo-shop. I start messing around on Photo-shop since Year 3, the first time I saw him using it. I am not professionally taught nor did my dad teach me. With that, I learnt retouch, and since around that time my dad was doing portrait photography, I started experimenting with photos he took of others. Around Year 5 my teacher found out I can do such things and entered me in some programs and some other things for it and it also continued in Year 6. Unfortunately, some people (shame on you people... because really... what you guys are doing is the lowest of low) automatically assumed just because I photo-shop photos for others that I would do it to my own face.

Here's what: I don't. I help do retouch for my dad and yes, I occasionally do it for my friends. What I do to my own photos are colour editing, adding water mark and changing some minorback ground details, I would hardly consider these things as editing my own face. My face doesn't have any pimples because when I took those photos, I did not have any pimples. Duh. Why would I take a photo of my face if I have pimples? Some people might do this but I don't.

Also I do not think I am above others by using this program. Yes, I do understand this is a professionally editing program and I use it because my dad is a professional photographer. Why would I use some free online editing programs for him? This girl said something similar to this: "Joanne just think she is better than everyone because she uses Photo-shop when we use free online ones. What the hell? Her face is so fake. Like, seriously, you should see her in real life, she looks so different." OK, to this person who said this, you have never seen me after Year Six, how do you know? How do you know I look different in photos I took this year in Year Ninedifferent to the face I have now? Some people just frustrate me so much. You can think this way but please do not spread it around when you don't even know the truth.

I'm not going to name her but I wouldn't say anything if I were you because I know you edit your photos. Firstly because I have seen you around last year (but sadly, you did not see me and my fake face) and your no make up face is hardly the "no make up" face you claim on Face book. Secondly since I do photo-shop, I do know some common mistakes people do when editing details on their face. As you use those free programs, the effect is hardly anything compared to Photo-shop therefore it is extremely obvious your nose is different in every single photo. Do you know anyone that changes their nose in shape or nose-bridge height every two weeks or so? I don't. I do not go around telling people how low you are so I would appreciate if you have some dignity and not do something so foolish. Spreading false rumours about someone is hardly acceptable.

Second of all, my nose, this is what everyone talks about. In fact a primary friend whom I lost contact with after Year Four called me just a few days ago and told me I was famous at their school. For being photo-shop genius and a fake face online. I would hardly consider myself a genius but thank you. I am thankful to have the nose I have now and yes, it is natural. I did not get plastic surgery and implant something to make my bridge higher... unfortunately, sorry to disappoint you. My dad's side of family all have high bridge noses and my mum has a really nose compared to the usual Asian standard. This should explain where my nose came from, my parents... if not obvious enough.

Why was my nose different in primary? I do not know but it gradually changed and my mum said the same thing happened to her in high school so it's probably the late gene thing. To be honest, I am not as pretty as people say I am, but of course, I do look a lot better compared to primary but really, don't most teens looks better? LOL.

If I really am as pretty as people say I am then I would rather go back to the times in primary. Where I blended in well and people didn't compliment on my looks or only tried to get close to me because of it. Thanks to being so called "pretty", people don't like to take photos with me because they think they look crap standing next to me. No one wants me to hang out at the weekends any more because most of my friends have boyfriends and they think I will steal them away... Or having people I do not know in real life already talking about me as the girl with a different online face.

If I really am as pretty as people say I am then this face just brought me nothing but trouble.That's another story. I hope everyone will understand that even though my personality is better now, I do have a bottom line. Don't cross it, because I will not just sit here and look fake. I will attack you (:

How should I start off this depressing entry? These days I should be stressing over assignments and assessments, which are all happening in the next two weeks. However, here I am, sitting in front of the computer worrying about something else. Not to sound shallow, but I'm worrying about my appearance. Your thinking what? Please allow me to explain.

Just three years ago, I ain't even going to lie but I was quite on the ugly side. I was the typical little girl you see on the street and no one would give a second look. (Not that I'm saying right now I'm down right gorgeous but more on that later...) I had the flat nose which I don't see the problem with but apparently by usual standards, a high bridge small nose is considered as attractive by majority of the people out there. Then there was the full on low fringe that covered half of my eyes and it certainly did not help the round glasses.

I was the left over girl at the Year Six farewell dance, I was known as the tom boy. My unforgiving personality also didn't do me any good. How I survived primary is beyond me but let's not go back to the tragic past but during those times, I was happy. I enjoyed school, I had my circle of friends and although not part of the so called popular crowd, I liked being normal. I blended in well.

As I went on to high school, transformations (friends' words, not mine. I would call it series of unfortunate events) followed. I started off like my usual self except my fringe was shorter and you can finally see my eyes and my glasses were a different style but still the usual type of girl. Nothing that stood out. When I came back for the second year, I'll admit it, I changed. I cut my hair and no longer have a fringe, they grew longer and went past my shoulder. They were no longer black and I dyed them to a color in between red and orange. Instead of glasses I got contact lenses. My features went sharper and my nose's no longer the same level as my face, they went higher and smaller. The double eyelids were more obvious thanks to my new hair.

Then there was something exciting and new I discovered. Make up. I liked the feeling of putting something onto my face thinking it would make me more attractive. (Even though according to my friends, there's hardly any difference) Soon I learnt that the more foundation, concealer or powder I pile onto my face, the more confident I feel. The more eyeliner I apply, the prettier I feel. It was a tragic look I can tell you now. With that, the second year of high school was all make up. They were the highlight of the year.

That aside though, even without make up, I look different compared to primary. Thing is, people don't realize that I'm not the only one going through this series of unfortunate events, majority of teens do. Slowly, as I shared my photos with my close friends (or not so close ones from primary) on social net working sites, rumours started. People (mainly from those who havenever seen me after primary, or specificity after the first year of high school) claiming I had plastic surgery done on my nose and that I photo-shop my face to make it look like the way I look now. Now I am human, and I do have feelings. When I found out that's what everyone outside of school know me as, I was extremely disappointed.

First of all, let's explain the whole photo-shop issue because it's where most people start to get mistaken. My dad is a photographer, a professional one and with that, he does edit his photos sometimes on this editing program, which is Photo-shop. I start messing around on Photo-shop since Year 3, the first time I saw him using it. I am not professionally taught nor did my dad teach me. With that, I learnt retouch, and since around that time my dad was doing portrait photography, I started experimenting with photos he took of others. Around Year 5 my teacher found out I can do such things and entered me in some programs and some other things for it and it also continued in Year 6. Unfortunately, some people (shame on you people... because really... what you guys are doing is the lowest of low) automatically assumed just because I photo-shop photos for others that I would do it to my own face.

Here's what: I don't. I help do retouch for my dad and yes, I occasionally do it for my friends. What I do to my own photos are colour editing, adding water mark and changing some minorback ground details, I would hardly consider these things as editing my own face. My face doesn't have any pimples because when I took those photos, I did not have any pimples. Duh. Why would I take a photo of my face if I have pimples? Some people might do this but I don't.

Also I do not think I am above others by using this program. Yes, I do understand this is a professionally editing program and I use it because my dad is a professional photographer. Why would I use some free online editing programs for him? This girl said something similar to this: "Joanne just think she is better than everyone because she uses Photo-shop when we use free online ones. What the hell? Her face is so fake. Like, seriously, you should see her in real life, she looks so different." OK, to this person who said this, you have never seen me after Year Six, how do you know? How do you know I look different in photos I took this year in Year Ninedifferent to the face I have now? Some people just frustrate me so much. You can think this way but please do not spread it around when you don't even know the truth.

I'm not going to name her but I wouldn't say anything if I were you because I know you edit your photos. Firstly because I have seen you around last year (but sadly, you did not see me and my fake face) and your no make up face is hardly the "no make up" face you claim on Face book. Secondly since I do photo-shop, I do know some common mistakes people do when editing details on their face. As you use those free programs, the effect is hardly anything compared to Photo-shop therefore it is extremely obvious your nose is different in every single photo. Do you know anyone that changes their nose in shape or nose-bridge height every two weeks or so? I don't. I do not go around telling people how low you are so I would appreciate if you have some dignity and not do something so foolish. Spreading false rumours about someone is hardly acceptable.

Second of all, my nose, this is what everyone talks about. In fact a primary friend whom I lost contact with after Year Four called me just a few days ago and told me I was famous at their school. For being photo-shop genius and a fake face online. I would hardly consider myself a genius but thank you. I am thankful to have the nose I have now and yes, it is natural. I did not get plastic surgery and implant something to make my bridge higher... unfortunately, sorry to disappoint you. My dad's side of family all have high bridge noses and my mum has a really nose compared to the usual Asian standard. This should explain where my nose came from, my parents... if not obvious enough.

Why was my nose different in primary? I do not know but it gradually changed and my mum said the same thing happened to her in high school so it's probably the late gene thing. To be honest, I am not as pretty as people say I am, but of course, I do look a lot better compared to primary but really, don't most teens looks better? LOL.

If I really am as pretty as people say I am then I would rather go back to the times in primary. Where I blended in well and people didn't compliment on my looks or only tried to get close to me because of it. Thanks to being so called "pretty", people don't like to take photos with me because they think they look crap standing next to me. No one wants me to hang out at the weekends any more because most of my friends have boyfriends and they think I will steal them away... Or having people I do not know in real life already talking about me as the girl with a different online face.

If I really am as pretty as people say I am then this face just brought me nothing but trouble.That's another story. I hope everyone will understand that even though my personality is better now, I do have a bottom line. Don't cross it, because I will not just sit here and look fake. I will attack you (: